Sugar baby, sugar daddy. Do the words sound sweeter if they are said in English and evoke sweets and childhood? No, no one is fooled, least of all the young women who one day find themselves in the role of sweet grandfather. Here are three good reasons to watch “Sugar,” a documentary by Nina Robert.
Director Nina Robert collected the testimonies of five young women who have chosen to meet older men in the context of paid relationships: sugar babies according to the established English expression. Here are three good reasons to watch his documentary. Sugar.
The concept comes from the United States and has kept its original language. For the chic side, probably. It consists of putting a very young woman and a much older man in contact in exchange for remuneration. The money side.
Behind the word relationship the sexual relationship is barely hidden. That’s the problem: a nice expression: an “ssugar baby” for “wealthy older lover“, which does not really tell the reality of what it hides. We could be wrong and believe in the beginning of a story for children in mode Hansel and Gretelor in a film form pretty Woman. However, the reality is much darker. And these sweet dating sites are barely hiding a new mode of prostitution.
The replay can be found below:
Because it is always a hard blow, a reversal of fortune that leads these very young women to pay dates. The absence of social assistance, too many phone calls from a banker, the rent to pay, unfeasible projects or rather prosaically the persistent hunger. each of the five sugar babies testifying decided to do so for financial reasons.
The system is so simple: a registration on an online site and dating rain. “I opened Google, I signed up for a site and 20 minutes later I had 15 posts and I unsubscribed because I had what it takes“. Easy money?”It’s like signing up for Tinder, no problem“. With the illusion in addition to dominating the situation, of having the upper hand. To make a choice between dating requests, to put a limit on platonic order, to make the client pay upside down.”I prefer men between 30 and 58 years old, not my age so as not to run the risk of liking him; I need a kind of distance“.
These are just illusions. The sugar daddies they all want the same thing: to have sex, to satisfy their fantasies. And they also cultivate the illusion of being chosen for their intelligence, their charm or their sense of generosity: “are looking for a young woman to help” either “they want to convince themselves that you are there because of their personality“.
A real fool’s game. One of the girls ends up feeling sorry for them: “it was obvious that some people were saving money [pour le rendez-vous, nldr], eat pasta all month for that! Finally “it” is me; is that your life is really rotten“. Who pities whom in the end?
These shared illusions have great difficulty in camouflaging the reality of prostitution. The man always gets the sexual relationship because he pays. And the young woman ends up recognizing herself in the role of the prostitute.
However, they had gone to great lengths to separate their private lives from their paid activities: specific outfits, dresses and high heels, even, for one of them, specific lingerie, to avoid mixing genders: “I don’t want that to make me think“. Make up and dress for big nights. Great care in choosing meeting places so as not to run the risk of meeting people you know. And above all, keep emotions at a distance, accompanied by an absolute sense of secrecy.”I try to differentiate myself, separate myself from the person I can be during the day and from the person at night.“.
But that without counting on the work of the unconscious. The unsaid that resurfaces in another way than through words. “I don’t know why I felt dirty. She is inside. Because I wash, I rub my skin and I feel dirty. It’s the flower that fades inside “Another Evokes One”black net“on their first date”I have no more memory“, she lets go.
A third explains:to do that, I let my body do it mechanically; I manage to separate my emotional thoughts from my physical body“. As for the last two, they confess.”bad experiences“even”the feeling of being a doll“in the hands of a pervert. Somewhere between the last limits of consent and submission under control.